Many people who come in contact with me just assume I am very organised. According to them, I always look sharp and on point when I am outside. What they don’t know is that I AM QUITE DISORGANISED WITH MY THINGS IN THE HOUSE.
On the other hand, my wife is so organised and likes everything to be in place. She arranges everything up to where she keeps her biros and pens in the room. So you can imagine what happens. She builds and I scatter.
Even though I am scattered with how I keep things at home, there are a few things I like done at home. That is lights off, doors shut, appliances off and taps off especially when the day is over. Unfortunately, wifey doesn’t do any of these.
I would have put out all the lights, shut the doors for the night, and she goes out to get something and leaves the doors ajar and all the lights on. So in this regard I build and she scatters.
As time went on, each time I leave my cloths scattered or can’t find shoes, car keys or wallet, she would talk to me like little boy who doesn’t know his left from his right and give me a short lecture on how my things ought to be around the house.
Each time she also left the lights on or the doors ajar, I would make sure I bring it to her attention and ensure that she does it right. In her words (which she told me much later) I made her feel like she was back in her Dad’s house and being told what to do every minute.
On a lovely Wednesday evening, we were studying a book titled Staying Close; a material we study in our couples hangout. In one of the lessons, we were told to talk to each other about things that make us feel disrespected by either partner.
That was when we both talked about it. I told her I didn’t want to feel like she was my mother who scolds me about everything and she said she didn’t want to feel like she was with her dad who gives her orders by the second.
After the talk, we did not magically get better at doing these things, but we have changed how we communicate to each other about it. Infact, we now work as a team complimenting each others weaknesses. She helps me organise my things and I keep the lights and doors off at night.
The lesson here is that communication (how you say things) could be what creates the problem. The same communication is what makes you aware of the problem and proper communication solves the problem.
COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING.
Author: Damilola Praiseworth – @Depraiz