Dear Diary,
Marriage in Africa is like the number one criteria for a woman, you have to be married to be recognized as a woman in our society. But such pressures also come with consequences, let me tell you of an experience I had in marriage.
“When are you getting married, you need to get married again”? was the first thing my aunt said to me after seeing me for the first time in five years.
I don’t understand it, why does society put so much pressure on women to get married and think that is the only purpose of a women’s life? Why can’t girls be encouraged to chase after their dreams then maybe get married?
I have had my own fair share of being forced into a marriage I was not ready for. It began after my school, my parents wanted to get me married immediately, because apparently marriage is a “woman’s dignity” even though I wanted to focus on my writing career, wanted to own a firm where we write novels, scripts, songs, etc.
I wanted to be a big name in the Nigeria writing industry, but my parents had other plans for me.
They found for me a husband, an Igbo and a very wealthy businessman. He came and paid for my bride price and we were married.
I guess I could have stopped it then, but I wanted to please my parents.
We were married by tradition and I moved in with him, I thought that he might be willing to open up the writing firm for me but oh how wrong I was.
He never lets me go out of the house unless I was going to the market, he gives me money for food and nothing for my upkeep, I was practically a full-time housewife.
But the day that broke Carmel’s back was when I went to the market one day and came back late, he beat me up for being late and I lost my pregnancy because of that, I left his house the next day.